Interview with Blake Cole

You see ladies, even men have issues with identity and choosing bad women. Below is an interview I did with Rowan University senior, Blake Cole. He's is a business and finance major as well as the President for New Life Ministry. He is a drummer at his home church Gospel Temple, and he's a born-again Chrisitan. He is 22 years old and has had an interesting past. Read below to find out more about this young gentleman.


1.What year did come to Rowan?
I came to Rowan in September 2004.

2. Did you have a difficult time trying to find your place on this campus?
Yes, extremely difficult. I believe that all freshman go through an identity phase their first year in college because it’s the beginning of being independent. I had made friends with people I had no business being with and had I not been on my own, I wouldn’t have otherwise. I tried my best to fit into the different groups knowing I just simply didn’t belong there.

3. You were in a relationship prior to the one that you’re in now, correct?
Yes

4.Tell us a little bit about that relationship.
Well, the relationship began in the Spring of 05 (freshman year), in which, of course, I was yet struggling with my identity. I met this young lady at my church and just as me, I discovered she was struggling with her own identity a few weeks into the relationship as she was portraying something that she really wasn’t. A few months into the relationship it became clear that she was living a double life and it began heading for the worst. Never before had I had so many problems in a relationship. And the factor that made me ultimately end the relationship was that none of it was necessary. I realized that it was my choice to bring and end to it as it initially was my choice to begin the relationship. So by November of my sophomore year, it all came to a close.

5. So, what do you think went wrong in the relationship?
Honestly, looking back over it now, I think what went wrong had more to do with my initial decision to begin the relationship rather than what happened during it. I say that because though I never knew it, she was always that type of ‘double standard’ person. And I just rushed into things without heeding the warning signs from several family members. So in essence, the relationship was over before it began—it just took several months for that to be revealed.

6. Would you say that you were in love with this person?
No. Now that I found the perfect one who is so dear to me and whom I truly cherish with all my heart, I know what real love is. The former relationship had much more to do with lust and infatuation rather than true sentimental love.

7. Do you think that bad relationship had anything to do with you still finding out where you fit in at Rowan University?

Well, being that I began my relationship at that stage in my life where I was searching for an identity, it was as if I was bound to fail. You will never know who and what you really want, until you know who and what you really are. I finally had realized that and in November of my sophomore year I had begun to discover who I was and where I wanted to be in life, and she was no longer a part of it.

8. So, what are some of the decisions that you made in your past relationship that you wish you would have thought twice about?
Making the initial commitment to be in the relationship—occasionally I think about that period and time in my life and I can’t help but be embarrassed as to my way of thinking. I rarely say that I regret many things because I know that we go through things for a reason and purpose beyond our control but that relationship is one of my few experiences that really wish I could be completely away with.

9. You’re a born-again Christian right?
Yes

10. What does that mean to you? What does being saved mean to you?
Being saved means so much, but if I had to narrow it down for sake of space, being saved means one thing: being set apart. Someone once said there is a difference from those are set apart, and from those who set themselves apart. It’s a choice. To live a life of hopelessness with no purpose in life that forces you to follow and conform to others is a choice. I chose none of the above and gave my life to Christ. At that moment, I set myself apart. I no longer desired to conform what I saw, but rather what I believed; and that was Jesus the Christ.

11. You were saved at the time of the relationship, correct?
Yes

12. From the moment you saw interest in the young lady, did you get a nagging in your spirit that things just weren’t right?
Of course. The decision of choice doesn’t stop or end the moment you accept Christ into your heart and become saved. But everyday as a Christian it’s a struggle to choose that which is right over wrong. It’s your choice to ignore the warnings and forsake what you know is right. And unfortunately I chose to ignore the warnings from God, and being that He gives freedom of choice he allowed me to suffer the consequences.

13. Did you ignore that feeling?
Unfortunately yes. And when someone ignores something, it’s not because they don’t hear it. Rather it’s because they refuse to hear it for some reason or another.

14. Why do you think you did?
There was never a day that I didn’t question our relationship. But at the same time there was never a day that the lust of my eyes didn’t enhance my desire to be with someone. I allowed my will to outweigh God’s will in my life. In other words, I did the complete opposite of what I was saved for in the first place. Instead of setting myself apart to do what God wanted, I chose to conform to my own desires of lust and infatuation.

15. At what point did you realize that, “this just isn’t going to work”?
When I began to find my identity and purpose in life and discovered that I couldn’t be what I wanted to be having what I had had. The old folks used to say “You getting to big for yo own britches boy!” Well I was getting to big for the box I was confined to in that relationship and it was time for me to depart.

16. You’re in a relationship now, correct?
I would call it a Fairy Tale because it’s that blissful—but yes, a relationship.

17. How’s that going for you?
Never have I been so happy in my life. Never.

What is the difference between this relationship and your previous one?
Once I left my past relationship, I was single for a good period of time. And it wasn’t easy, but it was a stage I had to endure in order for me to really discover who I really was. An old fable says that “You can’t see your reflection in running water.” So I had to be alone. And being alone allowed me to discover who I was, but more importantly what I really wanted in the love of my life. I felt that my past relationship helped me see what I didn’t want in a relationship, which paved the way for what I did want. I made a list of all the traits I wanted in the lady of my life and by October 9th 2006, the rest was history. “And they lived happily ever after…”

19. Would you say that you’re in love with this young lady?
No doubt. Real love—this is what love should feel like. So special—so indescribable.

20. How do you know that you’re in love this time? You said you were in love before but that turned out to be false.
You know why I loved Christmas? Yes, the candy canes were good; the Christmas carol sing-a-longs were awesome; But above anything else, Christmas to the young is like no other because “you can get what you ask for…and then some” Well when I prayed and asked God about who I wanted to be the love of my life, God gave me just what I wanted and then some. So why do I love her—because she is just what I wanted…and then some.

21. What did you do differently, this time, in choosing who you wanted to be with?
Ask God. First and foremost.

22. Now all of us saved young people could be in relationships right now if we wanted to. However, some of us are waiting for the right individual to come along, and we don’t want to just let anybody have our heart. What do you have to say to those young Christian men and women out there, who are waiting, waiting and waiting, and yet God still hasn’t sent anybody for them to hold on to?
God gave His Only Begotten Son Jesus to die for us. His only and All…His very best he gave to die for us. So if God was willing to give us His one and only, His best, to die for us who didn’t deserve it, how much more would he be willing to give us what we want if we obey him? My message to those who are still in waiting—find out what God is trying to teach you in these moments of stability. He does everything for a purpose—you must learn how to discover what that purpose is. And by all means, never try to make things happen yourself. It’s impossible to hold on to what you have with one hand and trying to reach and grab that which you don’t have with the other. Let go and let God and watch Him provide!