In this video, I took three people with three different stories to tell. I asked each of them the same exact questions. Question #1, “Talk about a relationship that you thought was meant to be, but in the end it didn’t really work out like you thought it would.” Question #2, “What role did your faith as a Christian play in your getting over that person and healing from the wounds that the person left?”
Each individual gave a amazing testimony and answers ranging from abuse to sex before marriage (fornication). At one point in their lives they each chose a path that wasn’t straight and narrow, but crooked. But, even after all of their fighting to stay in a doomed relationship, God still took them out of what He didn’t want them to be in.
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Monday, May 5, 2008
My take on modesty
Too many times I’ve seen women in CHURCH, strutting their stuff down the isle, in too tight, too short, too revealing, too much cleavage showing-outfits. Do I think that’s appropriate for church or anywhere else? No. If you’ve been in the church long enough, you start to see the difference between church attire, and standing on a corner at night in Hollywood-attire. Yes, the Lord wants you to come as you are to His house, but, you’ve been at that church for two years. Put on a long skirt, and a blouse!
One should definitely know how to separate the club and the beach from, Sunday morning service, and church picnics. I personally can’t see why a young woman with ANY respect for herself at all, would ever stoop so low, as to try and entice a man with her body in a place where your mind should be on Jesus! It’s not cute! And it sure isn’t attractive! Yes, men are looking at you because he is a man, and you have your stuff hanging all out! Of course he’s going to look. But, will he ask you out? Maybe. But, just long enough to do his business and then leave. Will he take you home? Maybe, but never while his mother is there. Will, he buy you things? Sure, but only because he wants to do whatever he wishes with you, and he knows that material things fascinate you.
Do you see what I’m saying girl? You look plain-old foolish prancing around in outfits that I wouldn’t even wear to the beach. The Bible says this in ITimothy 2:9-10. “In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamfacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair or gold or pearls or costly array; But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works”.
One should definitely know how to separate the club and the beach from, Sunday morning service, and church picnics. I personally can’t see why a young woman with ANY respect for herself at all, would ever stoop so low, as to try and entice a man with her body in a place where your mind should be on Jesus! It’s not cute! And it sure isn’t attractive! Yes, men are looking at you because he is a man, and you have your stuff hanging all out! Of course he’s going to look. But, will he ask you out? Maybe. But, just long enough to do his business and then leave. Will he take you home? Maybe, but never while his mother is there. Will, he buy you things? Sure, but only because he wants to do whatever he wishes with you, and he knows that material things fascinate you.
Do you see what I’m saying girl? You look plain-old foolish prancing around in outfits that I wouldn’t even wear to the beach. The Bible says this in ITimothy 2:9-10. “In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamfacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair or gold or pearls or costly array; But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works”.
My take on polygamy
Is polygamy ok? Absolutely not! Genesis 2:24 says, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be ONE flesh”. And Deuteronomy 17:17 says, “Neither shall he multiply wives to himself.”
Since, I follow the Word of God and because He says that marrying multiple women is wrong, then I have to agree with Him. Also, even if I wasn’t a faithful Christian, I still think I would be just a wee bit wierded out by men having 3 or 4 wives. God says that when you marry, you and your husband become ONE flesh. How can you be ONE flesh with more than ONE wife?
Since, I follow the Word of God and because He says that marrying multiple women is wrong, then I have to agree with Him. Also, even if I wasn’t a faithful Christian, I still think I would be just a wee bit wierded out by men having 3 or 4 wives. God says that when you marry, you and your husband become ONE flesh. How can you be ONE flesh with more than ONE wife?
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Single and Waiting?
Are you single and waiting? Do you need encouragement? Well, click on the yellow link below and be encouraged!
Single and Waiting
Single and Waiting
Monday, April 14, 2008
Interview with Blake Cole
You see ladies, even men have issues with identity and choosing bad women. Below is an interview I did with Rowan University senior, Blake Cole. He's is a business and finance major as well as the President for New Life Ministry. He is a drummer at his home church Gospel Temple, and he's a born-again Chrisitan. He is 22 years old and has had an interesting past. Read below to find out more about this young gentleman.
1.What year did come to Rowan?
I came to Rowan in September 2004.
2. Did you have a difficult time trying to find your place on this campus?
Yes, extremely difficult. I believe that all freshman go through an identity phase their first year in college because it’s the beginning of being independent. I had made friends with people I had no business being with and had I not been on my own, I wouldn’t have otherwise. I tried my best to fit into the different groups knowing I just simply didn’t belong there.
3. You were in a relationship prior to the one that you’re in now, correct?
Yes
4.Tell us a little bit about that relationship.
Well, the relationship began in the Spring of 05 (freshman year), in which, of course, I was yet struggling with my identity. I met this young lady at my church and just as me, I discovered she was struggling with her own identity a few weeks into the relationship as she was portraying something that she really wasn’t. A few months into the relationship it became clear that she was living a double life and it began heading for the worst. Never before had I had so many problems in a relationship. And the factor that made me ultimately end the relationship was that none of it was necessary. I realized that it was my choice to bring and end to it as it initially was my choice to begin the relationship. So by November of my sophomore year, it all came to a close.
5. So, what do you think went wrong in the relationship?
Honestly, looking back over it now, I think what went wrong had more to do with my initial decision to begin the relationship rather than what happened during it. I say that because though I never knew it, she was always that type of ‘double standard’ person. And I just rushed into things without heeding the warning signs from several family members. So in essence, the relationship was over before it began—it just took several months for that to be revealed.
6. Would you say that you were in love with this person?
No. Now that I found the perfect one who is so dear to me and whom I truly cherish with all my heart, I know what real love is. The former relationship had much more to do with lust and infatuation rather than true sentimental love.
7. Do you think that bad relationship had anything to do with you still finding out where you fit in at Rowan University?
Well, being that I began my relationship at that stage in my life where I was searching for an identity, it was as if I was bound to fail. You will never know who and what you really want, until you know who and what you really are. I finally had realized that and in November of my sophomore year I had begun to discover who I was and where I wanted to be in life, and she was no longer a part of it.
8. So, what are some of the decisions that you made in your past relationship that you wish you would have thought twice about?
Making the initial commitment to be in the relationship—occasionally I think about that period and time in my life and I can’t help but be embarrassed as to my way of thinking. I rarely say that I regret many things because I know that we go through things for a reason and purpose beyond our control but that relationship is one of my few experiences that really wish I could be completely away with.
9. You’re a born-again Christian right?
Yes
10. What does that mean to you? What does being saved mean to you?
Being saved means so much, but if I had to narrow it down for sake of space, being saved means one thing: being set apart. Someone once said there is a difference from those are set apart, and from those who set themselves apart. It’s a choice. To live a life of hopelessness with no purpose in life that forces you to follow and conform to others is a choice. I chose none of the above and gave my life to Christ. At that moment, I set myself apart. I no longer desired to conform what I saw, but rather what I believed; and that was Jesus the Christ.
11. You were saved at the time of the relationship, correct?
Yes
12. From the moment you saw interest in the young lady, did you get a nagging in your spirit that things just weren’t right?
Of course. The decision of choice doesn’t stop or end the moment you accept Christ into your heart and become saved. But everyday as a Christian it’s a struggle to choose that which is right over wrong. It’s your choice to ignore the warnings and forsake what you know is right. And unfortunately I chose to ignore the warnings from God, and being that He gives freedom of choice he allowed me to suffer the consequences.
13. Did you ignore that feeling?
Unfortunately yes. And when someone ignores something, it’s not because they don’t hear it. Rather it’s because they refuse to hear it for some reason or another.
14. Why do you think you did?
There was never a day that I didn’t question our relationship. But at the same time there was never a day that the lust of my eyes didn’t enhance my desire to be with someone. I allowed my will to outweigh God’s will in my life. In other words, I did the complete opposite of what I was saved for in the first place. Instead of setting myself apart to do what God wanted, I chose to conform to my own desires of lust and infatuation.
15. At what point did you realize that, “this just isn’t going to work”?
When I began to find my identity and purpose in life and discovered that I couldn’t be what I wanted to be having what I had had. The old folks used to say “You getting to big for yo own britches boy!” Well I was getting to big for the box I was confined to in that relationship and it was time for me to depart.
16. You’re in a relationship now, correct?
I would call it a Fairy Tale because it’s that blissful—but yes, a relationship.
17. How’s that going for you?
Never have I been so happy in my life. Never.
What is the difference between this relationship and your previous one?
Once I left my past relationship, I was single for a good period of time. And it wasn’t easy, but it was a stage I had to endure in order for me to really discover who I really was. An old fable says that “You can’t see your reflection in running water.” So I had to be alone. And being alone allowed me to discover who I was, but more importantly what I really wanted in the love of my life. I felt that my past relationship helped me see what I didn’t want in a relationship, which paved the way for what I did want. I made a list of all the traits I wanted in the lady of my life and by October 9th 2006, the rest was history. “And they lived happily ever after…”
19. Would you say that you’re in love with this young lady?
No doubt. Real love—this is what love should feel like. So special—so indescribable.
20. How do you know that you’re in love this time? You said you were in love before but that turned out to be false.
You know why I loved Christmas? Yes, the candy canes were good; the Christmas carol sing-a-longs were awesome; But above anything else, Christmas to the young is like no other because “you can get what you ask for…and then some” Well when I prayed and asked God about who I wanted to be the love of my life, God gave me just what I wanted and then some. So why do I love her—because she is just what I wanted…and then some.
21. What did you do differently, this time, in choosing who you wanted to be with?
Ask God. First and foremost.
22. Now all of us saved young people could be in relationships right now if we wanted to. However, some of us are waiting for the right individual to come along, and we don’t want to just let anybody have our heart. What do you have to say to those young Christian men and women out there, who are waiting, waiting and waiting, and yet God still hasn’t sent anybody for them to hold on to?
God gave His Only Begotten Son Jesus to die for us. His only and All…His very best he gave to die for us. So if God was willing to give us His one and only, His best, to die for us who didn’t deserve it, how much more would he be willing to give us what we want if we obey him? My message to those who are still in waiting—find out what God is trying to teach you in these moments of stability. He does everything for a purpose—you must learn how to discover what that purpose is. And by all means, never try to make things happen yourself. It’s impossible to hold on to what you have with one hand and trying to reach and grab that which you don’t have with the other. Let go and let God and watch Him provide!
1.What year did come to Rowan?
I came to Rowan in September 2004.
2. Did you have a difficult time trying to find your place on this campus?
Yes, extremely difficult. I believe that all freshman go through an identity phase their first year in college because it’s the beginning of being independent. I had made friends with people I had no business being with and had I not been on my own, I wouldn’t have otherwise. I tried my best to fit into the different groups knowing I just simply didn’t belong there.
3. You were in a relationship prior to the one that you’re in now, correct?
Yes
4.Tell us a little bit about that relationship.
Well, the relationship began in the Spring of 05 (freshman year), in which, of course, I was yet struggling with my identity. I met this young lady at my church and just as me, I discovered she was struggling with her own identity a few weeks into the relationship as she was portraying something that she really wasn’t. A few months into the relationship it became clear that she was living a double life and it began heading for the worst. Never before had I had so many problems in a relationship. And the factor that made me ultimately end the relationship was that none of it was necessary. I realized that it was my choice to bring and end to it as it initially was my choice to begin the relationship. So by November of my sophomore year, it all came to a close.
5. So, what do you think went wrong in the relationship?
Honestly, looking back over it now, I think what went wrong had more to do with my initial decision to begin the relationship rather than what happened during it. I say that because though I never knew it, she was always that type of ‘double standard’ person. And I just rushed into things without heeding the warning signs from several family members. So in essence, the relationship was over before it began—it just took several months for that to be revealed.
6. Would you say that you were in love with this person?
No. Now that I found the perfect one who is so dear to me and whom I truly cherish with all my heart, I know what real love is. The former relationship had much more to do with lust and infatuation rather than true sentimental love.
7. Do you think that bad relationship had anything to do with you still finding out where you fit in at Rowan University?
Well, being that I began my relationship at that stage in my life where I was searching for an identity, it was as if I was bound to fail. You will never know who and what you really want, until you know who and what you really are. I finally had realized that and in November of my sophomore year I had begun to discover who I was and where I wanted to be in life, and she was no longer a part of it.
8. So, what are some of the decisions that you made in your past relationship that you wish you would have thought twice about?
Making the initial commitment to be in the relationship—occasionally I think about that period and time in my life and I can’t help but be embarrassed as to my way of thinking. I rarely say that I regret many things because I know that we go through things for a reason and purpose beyond our control but that relationship is one of my few experiences that really wish I could be completely away with.
9. You’re a born-again Christian right?
Yes
10. What does that mean to you? What does being saved mean to you?
Being saved means so much, but if I had to narrow it down for sake of space, being saved means one thing: being set apart. Someone once said there is a difference from those are set apart, and from those who set themselves apart. It’s a choice. To live a life of hopelessness with no purpose in life that forces you to follow and conform to others is a choice. I chose none of the above and gave my life to Christ. At that moment, I set myself apart. I no longer desired to conform what I saw, but rather what I believed; and that was Jesus the Christ.
11. You were saved at the time of the relationship, correct?
Yes
12. From the moment you saw interest in the young lady, did you get a nagging in your spirit that things just weren’t right?
Of course. The decision of choice doesn’t stop or end the moment you accept Christ into your heart and become saved. But everyday as a Christian it’s a struggle to choose that which is right over wrong. It’s your choice to ignore the warnings and forsake what you know is right. And unfortunately I chose to ignore the warnings from God, and being that He gives freedom of choice he allowed me to suffer the consequences.
13. Did you ignore that feeling?
Unfortunately yes. And when someone ignores something, it’s not because they don’t hear it. Rather it’s because they refuse to hear it for some reason or another.
14. Why do you think you did?
There was never a day that I didn’t question our relationship. But at the same time there was never a day that the lust of my eyes didn’t enhance my desire to be with someone. I allowed my will to outweigh God’s will in my life. In other words, I did the complete opposite of what I was saved for in the first place. Instead of setting myself apart to do what God wanted, I chose to conform to my own desires of lust and infatuation.
15. At what point did you realize that, “this just isn’t going to work”?
When I began to find my identity and purpose in life and discovered that I couldn’t be what I wanted to be having what I had had. The old folks used to say “You getting to big for yo own britches boy!” Well I was getting to big for the box I was confined to in that relationship and it was time for me to depart.
16. You’re in a relationship now, correct?
I would call it a Fairy Tale because it’s that blissful—but yes, a relationship.
17. How’s that going for you?
Never have I been so happy in my life. Never.
What is the difference between this relationship and your previous one?
Once I left my past relationship, I was single for a good period of time. And it wasn’t easy, but it was a stage I had to endure in order for me to really discover who I really was. An old fable says that “You can’t see your reflection in running water.” So I had to be alone. And being alone allowed me to discover who I was, but more importantly what I really wanted in the love of my life. I felt that my past relationship helped me see what I didn’t want in a relationship, which paved the way for what I did want. I made a list of all the traits I wanted in the lady of my life and by October 9th 2006, the rest was history. “And they lived happily ever after…”
19. Would you say that you’re in love with this young lady?
No doubt. Real love—this is what love should feel like. So special—so indescribable.
20. How do you know that you’re in love this time? You said you were in love before but that turned out to be false.
You know why I loved Christmas? Yes, the candy canes were good; the Christmas carol sing-a-longs were awesome; But above anything else, Christmas to the young is like no other because “you can get what you ask for…and then some” Well when I prayed and asked God about who I wanted to be the love of my life, God gave me just what I wanted and then some. So why do I love her—because she is just what I wanted…and then some.
21. What did you do differently, this time, in choosing who you wanted to be with?
Ask God. First and foremost.
22. Now all of us saved young people could be in relationships right now if we wanted to. However, some of us are waiting for the right individual to come along, and we don’t want to just let anybody have our heart. What do you have to say to those young Christian men and women out there, who are waiting, waiting and waiting, and yet God still hasn’t sent anybody for them to hold on to?
God gave His Only Begotten Son Jesus to die for us. His only and All…His very best he gave to die for us. So if God was willing to give us His one and only, His best, to die for us who didn’t deserve it, how much more would he be willing to give us what we want if we obey him? My message to those who are still in waiting—find out what God is trying to teach you in these moments of stability. He does everything for a purpose—you must learn how to discover what that purpose is. And by all means, never try to make things happen yourself. It’s impossible to hold on to what you have with one hand and trying to reach and grab that which you don’t have with the other. Let go and let God and watch Him provide!
Interview with Saleem Wright
Wynnewood, PA resident, Saleem Wright, wasn't always the Holy Ghost filled, always preaching, always praising, young man that everyone sees today. He led a rough life before he came to know Christ. The 24 year-old graduate of Rowan University had to be pulled in to his calling just like a lot of other Christians. Majoring in public relations and graduating was his primary focus while he was in school. He was involved in many orgainization on campus such as: Black Culture League, NAACP, PRSSA, and EOF/MAP. It was then that he heard a message from a pastor that would change his life for the better.
Q/A with Saleem Wright
1. What kinds of organizations were you a member of or a leader of while being on campus?
a. Black Culture League, PRSSA, NAACP, Bridging the Gap, Multi Cultural Affairs, EOF/MAP
2. Now, I understand that you’re in seminary school. What exactly are you going for? Is it to become a minister or a pastor, etc?
a. I am pursuing my Masters in Divinity which is a combination of Christian Ministry and Theology.
3. What’s the name of your seminary school? Where is it located?
a. I attend Palmer Theological Seminary which is located in Philadelphia, PA
4. What made you decide that you wanted to be a minister? When did you get your confirmation that, this is what you wanted to do with your life?
a. My decision to be a minister was not my own. It was God’s plan that honestly if I had my choice I would have picked a different path. I don’t think anyone wakes up and says to themselves I want to be a minister. If they do they might have a couple of screws loose because unlike a doctor you don’t just deal with peoples lives you deal with their eternity. The process of accepting God’s call on my life took 22 years. But to make a long story short I’ll just talk about the last few.
About two years ago I heard a message from a minister that challenged the influences that I indulging in. It was the first time in a long time that I actually heard God speaking to me challenging me to change the way I was living. At the time I was involved in sex, pornography parties, fights, cursing, doing badly in school, I was selfish, prideful, and arrogant just doing what I wanted to do. My friends were just like me and my surroundings although I was in College added to my sinful lifestyle. After hearing the Lord and what he wanted me to do I made a change in my life. After I decided to make the change in my heart it seemed like God started making the external changes. I found myself not wanting to do the things that I had been doing. The lifestyle that I was living became futile, I found myself becoming distant with my friends and started gravitating to Christians for the first time in a long time. Although I “claimed” to be a Christian my lifestyle did not add up. God was changing everything that I had known to be acceptable as worthless detrimental to myself and it grieved God. After God started to change me and I was slowly becoming transformed to his will and not my own he spoke to me again.
One night while I was praying the Lord told me in a whisper to “preach.” I immediately said very sarcastically “preach what, and preach to whom.” Needless to say I did not receive an answer. I then began to laugh and said to “myself, I can and will not preach to anyone, it’s not for me.” Really looking back on it I was scared and felt unworthy that God would ask me to do such a thing. My whole life I looked at preachers as one of two things a saint or a hypocrite. I believed I wasn’t a saint therefore I categorized myself as a hypocrite and I ran from God’s call. I still honored him with my lifestyle and my circle of influence became his followers but I decided that I was not going to preach. Little did I know God had a plan B to counter my own plan. A few months went by and I God was not speaking to me. I was praying, reading my bible, fasting and trying to live according to his will but he did not speak to me. I went to a workshop on campus where a minister was talking about Godly relationships, at the end of the workshop she prayed over everyone and told each of us something different in our ear. She told me “to take the ministry that was being birthed inside of me to my pastor.” I knew it was the Lord speaking because I did not know her, never seen her or ever met her before that night and no one knew what God had told me in prayer. One would think after that I would have listened to God and answered his call but again I ran. The lifestyle I had lived and the things I had done as a result plagued my psyche. I assumed that because of my past, I was worthless and should never preach anyone’s Gospel or anyone’s word, especially Jesus who was perfect. A few weeks later I went to the schools Choir rehearsal and after rehearsal one of the choir members pulled me to the side and spoke to me. I did not know here very well so I was not sure what she was going to say. She told me that she had a dream about me. This caught me off guard because I knew she was married and so it couldn’t be what I thought so instead of interjecting I listened. She said in the dream the choir was coming from my funeral. That part really freaked me out! She said that the dream symbolized that the devil was trying to kill me. Now I’m even more scared. She said that he would not be able to though. I’m relieved a little. She said that he want to kill me for the ministry that’s being birthed inside me and that I need to take it to my pastor. It seemed like everything came full circle and I heard the Lord again. On my walk back to my apt from choir rehearsal I looked up and said God “I got you,” in other words Jesus I will preach your gospel!
5. Did you ever think that you’d be the person that you are now, as far as living a godly life?
a. No I did not think in a million years I would be who I am today. It’s weird looking back on how far God brought me.
6 So, tell me when you got saved.
a. I made the confession of salvation at 12 years old. I was at my home church CCU and I heard God speaking to me that I was a sinner in need of a savior and that Jesus was the one who could save me from my sins and from an eternity apart from God.
7. It is to my knowledge that you weren’t always in the church. As some church folk might say “You aint been saved all ya life!” Tell me a little bit about how you were before you decided that you wanted to let God lead you.
a. Church was always optional in my house. I never was forced to go. My brother and sister gravitated towards it before me. I was rarely ever seen in church unless if was to get out the house. I was saved at 12 but I didn’t really grasp a relationship with Christ until I was 22.
8. Just so we can flesh things out a bit, what does “saved” mean to you? What does being a Christian mean to you?
a. Being “saved” means that I have accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and savior. That I believe that he paid the penalty for my sins on a cross at Calvary. That if he had not died for my sins than I would be destined to spend an eternity apart from God because of my sins.
b. Being a Christian means that my lifestyle reflects the life of Christ. That upon accepting Jesus as my lord and savior I am constantly being transformed in his image and I reflect the life that he lived day to day.
9. So, what do you plan on doing once you get out of seminary school? Do you still plan on pursuing a career in your major or will you strictly minister?
a. When I graduate I plan to do ministry and teach. I use my degree in PR even now and I will use it in my ministry because PR is one of those skills that everyone needs especially people in ministry because the public is who we serve.
10. So, being that this is a blog about Christian relationships, ,I have to ask you...are you courting anyone?
a. Currently I am not courting anyone. I have prayed about this a lot and because of where I am and where I am going. I know that I need to spend time to grow as a single man. I believe that everyone should spend time to figure out who they are and who God wants them to be. If I am not able to discover my true self how can I commit myself to someone else. I think that if I never have a period of true singleness then I believe that I will never have a period of true oneness with my wife. Until I am able to be single for this season of my life I will not be able to be with my wife. I believe that being in a relationship is a selfless act and that people never understand how to be selfless because they never deal with their selfishness with God. Most people get into relationships and maintain their selfishness expecting their mate to cater to their selfishness. This is why the divorce rate is almost 70 percent, men and women cheat on each other so much, and abuse is at an all time high. Too many selfish people are getting into relationships. Until we can look at ourselves in the mirror and allow God to deal with who we are and discover who we were created to be we will never be able to be in a faithful, joyful, covenant keeping relationship.
11. If not, why? What exactly are you waiting for?
a. I think I answered it in my last question but I’m waiting until I’m whole in Christ. I don’t know when I’ll be ready because its not up to me to decide. I’m leaving it in God’s hands.
12. You were in a relationship before right?
a. Yes
13. How did that work out for you?
a. We went our separate ways
14. But, didn't you think you were going to marry her?
a. Yes
15. You don’t have to go into detail, but, I know that you wouldn’t claim marriage unless you were sure that the person was sent from God. So, now that you've broken up, what do you think about that?
a. I think it was necessary because of the place I was in my life and the place I am going to be in my life. As I stated before I need this season of my life to be with God.
16. If you had to compare your life’s story to any person in the Bible who would it be? Why do you compare yourself to that person?
a. I cannot say there is one person I would choose. I can say Peter because through my lifestyle I denied I knew Jesus. I can say Thomas because I have doubted Jesus. I can say Paul because I hated Christians before. I can say Judas because there were times in my life I felt like I betrayed Jesus. I can say Jeremiah because God had to reassure me that his call on my life was correct and that I was the right person for the job. I cannot say that there is one person.
17. Well, that concludes the interview, any encouraging words for young people that are lost? Anything you want to wrap up with?
a. I will leave people with this. Honestly I hate religion! I have always hated religion and to this day I still do. That might shock people but just because I hate religion or religions has nothing to do with my love for Jesus. People think that Christianity is supposed to be a religion. It was never supposed to be that way. It was meant to be representative of a relationship of a finite being to an infinite God through Jesus Christ. God never wanted us to be rigid, strict and bound by rules and regulations. He wanted us to be in fellowship with him and out of that relationship we would honor him by doing and abstaining from certain things. It’s like a boyfriend and girlfriend. When a guy first meets a girl he does not know her that well so he might say certain things or do certain things that she hates but the more he knows her and loves her the more he honors her and doesn’t do those things because he does not want to hurt her or lose her. The same is with God. The more we get to know Jesus the more we want to obey, love and honor him. Not out of rules but out of love. That’s my note to the unbeliever. To all Christians its real simple “don’t just give Christ your life, give him your lifestyle.” God bless!
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
A Pastor's Point of View
Question from an Aaron on this site
My question, simply put, is did God endorse polygamy? Usually most experts say that God's attitude was one of tolerance, not acceptance, concerning the old testament practice. And, no, I'm not Mormon, although I do live in Utah.I raise this question because I recently read 2Samual 12:8. While speaking to David through Nathan the prophet, God tells David "I gave...your master's wives into your arms." Note the plural, "wives". In the passage, God is explaining how good He has been to David even though David's heart had become hardened against Him. In detailing His goodness towards David, He uses the fact that He gave David the house of his enemy, the kingship of Israel and Judah, and of course, Saul's wives.So, did God give His approval of polygamy in this passage.Thanks
Answer
AnswerHi Aaron,
This question brings up many passages in the Bible that you can look at first of all we can look at the Book of Genesis 2:18-34 and Matthew 19:4-6 in which it shows God's plan for one man and one woman for a lifetime.Due to the fact that the Ancient Near East was an agrarian society made it very dependant on large families. Polygamy, though practiced by some Bible characters, is nevertheless, never condoned by God and in most cases even resulted in domestic turmoil. Most believers would probably say that this is an easy question, but that is not necessarily true. Most would say that it is a sin to be a polygamist and that this is a clear and unambiguous teaching of the New Testament. The fact is that there in no one New Testament passage which unambiguously teaches that it is a sin for a man to have more than one wife (or vice versa for that matter). Possibly this is because the cultural mileau of New Testament times was quite different from Old Testament times. During the time of the writing of Genesis, for example, it was a very common practice for wealthy men to have a number of wives. By the first century polygamy in the eastern Mediteranean was relatively rare. Roman and Greek society did not condone polygamy. Having said that there is no specific passage which absolutely and clearly condems polygamy, there are a number of passages which would very strongly support the claim that it would not be right for a Christian man to take more than one wife. Never mind that the qualities of an elder in the Christian church includes a man with only one woman (Titus 1:6), one could consider, for example, Ephesians 5:25; "Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. It seems impossible to imagine a man fulfilling this charge to love his his wife in this way while at the same time pursuing a second wife!!! Jesus' teaching certainly seem to preclude polygamy. Matthew 19:4 quotes Jesus as saying, "at the beginning the Creator made them male and female. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two but one." It is impossible to imagine putting another wife into this picture. Many other passages in the New Testament could be used to show that it is not ever acceptable for a disciple of Jesus to take a second wife. Accepting that a disciple of Jesus would not choose to take a second wife, there is an interesting scenario which is not outside the realm of possibility. What if a man who already has more than one wife were to come to Christ? In fact, I know of a specific situation in Nigeria in which a man from a background which allows for polygamy, and who had three wives, was later converted to Christ. What should he do? Should he send all of his wives away but one? Where would this leave these women in a culture such as Nigeria? Which ones should he put away? The spiritual men who were in his life advised that he continue in his situation, in the spirit of 1 Corinthians 7 which mentions the wisdom of remaining in the situation one finds oneself when coming to Christ. Clearly, he would not be an appropriate elder in the church, but it seemed best for him to continue meeting the needs of the three women. I am guessing that under the same circumstances, except here in the United States, very different advice would have been given! Nevertheless, I find it hard to criticize the wisdom of the advice given in the situation in Nigeria. Based on this example, I would say that polygamy is not absolutely, in and of itself, sinful, but that a disciple of Jesus certainly would not even consider choosing to become a polygamist. I hope this answer has been helpful and not confusing. I understand what you ar saying about some verses and how it is difficult to understand. If I can be of any more help please visit my website and e-mail me or post on the message board. The site is at http://www.homepage-host.uni.cc/p/godslove/index.html
Take care,
Pastor John
My question, simply put, is did God endorse polygamy? Usually most experts say that God's attitude was one of tolerance, not acceptance, concerning the old testament practice. And, no, I'm not Mormon, although I do live in Utah.I raise this question because I recently read 2Samual 12:8. While speaking to David through Nathan the prophet, God tells David "I gave...your master's wives into your arms." Note the plural, "wives". In the passage, God is explaining how good He has been to David even though David's heart had become hardened against Him. In detailing His goodness towards David, He uses the fact that He gave David the house of his enemy, the kingship of Israel and Judah, and of course, Saul's wives.So, did God give His approval of polygamy in this passage.Thanks
Answer
AnswerHi Aaron,
This question brings up many passages in the Bible that you can look at first of all we can look at the Book of Genesis 2:18-34 and Matthew 19:4-6 in which it shows God's plan for one man and one woman for a lifetime.Due to the fact that the Ancient Near East was an agrarian society made it very dependant on large families. Polygamy, though practiced by some Bible characters, is nevertheless, never condoned by God and in most cases even resulted in domestic turmoil. Most believers would probably say that this is an easy question, but that is not necessarily true. Most would say that it is a sin to be a polygamist and that this is a clear and unambiguous teaching of the New Testament. The fact is that there in no one New Testament passage which unambiguously teaches that it is a sin for a man to have more than one wife (or vice versa for that matter). Possibly this is because the cultural mileau of New Testament times was quite different from Old Testament times. During the time of the writing of Genesis, for example, it was a very common practice for wealthy men to have a number of wives. By the first century polygamy in the eastern Mediteranean was relatively rare. Roman and Greek society did not condone polygamy. Having said that there is no specific passage which absolutely and clearly condems polygamy, there are a number of passages which would very strongly support the claim that it would not be right for a Christian man to take more than one wife. Never mind that the qualities of an elder in the Christian church includes a man with only one woman (Titus 1:6), one could consider, for example, Ephesians 5:25; "Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. It seems impossible to imagine a man fulfilling this charge to love his his wife in this way while at the same time pursuing a second wife!!! Jesus' teaching certainly seem to preclude polygamy. Matthew 19:4 quotes Jesus as saying, "at the beginning the Creator made them male and female. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two but one." It is impossible to imagine putting another wife into this picture. Many other passages in the New Testament could be used to show that it is not ever acceptable for a disciple of Jesus to take a second wife. Accepting that a disciple of Jesus would not choose to take a second wife, there is an interesting scenario which is not outside the realm of possibility. What if a man who already has more than one wife were to come to Christ? In fact, I know of a specific situation in Nigeria in which a man from a background which allows for polygamy, and who had three wives, was later converted to Christ. What should he do? Should he send all of his wives away but one? Where would this leave these women in a culture such as Nigeria? Which ones should he put away? The spiritual men who were in his life advised that he continue in his situation, in the spirit of 1 Corinthians 7 which mentions the wisdom of remaining in the situation one finds oneself when coming to Christ. Clearly, he would not be an appropriate elder in the church, but it seemed best for him to continue meeting the needs of the three women. I am guessing that under the same circumstances, except here in the United States, very different advice would have been given! Nevertheless, I find it hard to criticize the wisdom of the advice given in the situation in Nigeria. Based on this example, I would say that polygamy is not absolutely, in and of itself, sinful, but that a disciple of Jesus certainly would not even consider choosing to become a polygamist. I hope this answer has been helpful and not confusing. I understand what you ar saying about some verses and how it is difficult to understand. If I can be of any more help please visit my website and e-mail me or post on the message board. The site is at http://www.homepage-host.uni.cc/p/godslove/index.html
Take care,
Pastor John
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
