What she wants to know

Final Blog Post

2008-05-08T15:21:00.001-04:00

In this video, I took three people with three different stories to tell. I asked each of them the same exact questions. Question #1, “Talk about a relationship that you thought was meant to be, but in the end it didn’t really work out like you thought it would.” Question #2, “What role did your faith as a Christian play in your getting over that person and healing from the wounds that the person left?”

Each individual gave a amazing testimony and answers ranging from abuse to sex before marriage (fornication). At one point in their lives they each chose a path that wasn’t straight and narrow, but crooked. But, even after all of their fighting to stay in a doomed relationship, God still took them out of what He didn’t want them to be in.

My take on modesty

2008-05-05T13:27:00.001-04:00

Too many times I’ve seen women in CHURCH, strutting their stuff down the isle, in too tight, too short, too revealing, too much cleavage showing-outfits. Do I think that’s appropriate for church or anywhere else? No. If you’ve been in the church long enough, you start to see the difference between church attire, and standing on a corner at night in Hollywood-attire. Yes, the Lord wants you to come as you are to His house, but, you’ve been at that church for two years. Put on a long skirt, and a blouse!

One should definitely know how to separate the club and the beach from, Sunday morning service, and church picnics. I personally can’t see why a young woman with ANY respect for herself at all, would ever stoop so low, as to try and entice a man with her body in a place where your mind should be on Jesus! It’s not cute! And it sure isn’t attractive! Yes, men are looking at you because he is a man, and you have your stuff hanging all out! Of course he’s going to look. But, will he ask you out? Maybe. But, just long enough to do his business and then leave. Will he take you home? Maybe, but never while his mother is there. Will, he buy you things? Sure, but only because he wants to do whatever he wishes with you, and he knows that material things fascinate you.

Do you see what I’m saying girl? You look plain-old foolish prancing around in outfits that I wouldn’t even wear to the beach. The Bible says this in ITimothy 2:9-10. “In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamfacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair or gold or pearls or costly array; But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works”.

My take on polygamy

2008-05-05T13:10:00.001-04:00

Is polygamy ok? Absolutely not! Genesis 2:24 says, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be ONE flesh”. And Deuteronomy 17:17 says, “Neither shall he multiply wives to himself.”

Since, I follow the Word of God and because He says that marrying multiple women is wrong, then I have to agree with Him. Also, even if I wasn’t a faithful Christian, I still think I would be just a wee bit wierded out by men having 3 or 4 wives. God says that when you marry, you and your husband become ONE flesh. How can you be ONE flesh with more than ONE wife?

Single and Waiting?

2008-04-17T22:16:00.002-04:00

Are you single and waiting? Do you need encouragement? Well, click on the yellow link below and be encouraged!

Single and Waiting

Interview with Blake Cole

2008-04-14T13:11:00.004-04:00

You see ladies, even men have issues with identity and choosing bad women. Below is an interview I did with Rowan University senior, Blake Cole. He's is a business and finance major as well as the President for New Life Ministry. He is a drummer at his home church Gospel Temple, and he's a born-again Chrisitan. He is 22 years old and has had an interesting past. Read below to find out more about this young gentleman.

1.What year did come to Rowan?
I came to Rowan in September 2004.

2. Did you have a difficult time trying to find your place on this campus?
Yes, extremely difficult. I believe that all freshman go through an identity phase their first year in college because it’s the beginning of being independent. I had made friends with people I had no business being with and had I not been on my own, I wouldn’t have otherwise. I tried my best to fit into the different groups knowing I just simply didn’t belong there.

3. You were in a relationship prior to the one that you’re in now, correct?
Yes

4.Tell us a little bit about that relationship.
Well, the relationship began in the Spring of 05 (freshman year), in which, of course, I was yet struggling with my identity. I met this young lady at my church and just as me, I discovered she was struggling with her own identity a few weeks into the relationship as she was portraying something that she really wasn’t. A few months into the relationship it became clear that she was living a double life and it began heading for the worst. Never before had I had so many problems in a relationship. And the factor that made me ultimately end the relationship was that none of it was necessary. I realized that it was my choice to bring and end to it as it initially was my choice to begin the relationship. So by November of my sophomore year, it all came to a close.

5. So, what do you think went wrong in the relationship?
Honestly, looking back over it now, I think what went wrong had more to do with my initial decision to begin the relationship rather than what happened during it. I say that because though I never knew it, she was always that type of ‘double standard’ person. And I just rushed into things without heeding the warning signs from several family members. So in essence, the relationship was over before it began—it just took several months for that to be revealed.

6. Would you say that you were in love with this person?
No. Now that I found the perfect one who is so dear to me and whom I truly cherish with all my heart, I know what real love is. The former relationship had much more to do with lust and infatuation rather than true sentimental love.

7. Do you think that bad relationship had anything to do with you still finding out where you fit in at Rowan University?

Well, being that I began my relationship at that stage in my life where I was searching for an identity, it was as if I was bound to fail. You will never know who and what you really want, until you know who and what you really are. I finally had realized that and in November of my sophomore year I had begun to discover who I was and where I wanted to be in life, and she was no longer a part of it.

8. So, what are some of the decisions that you made in your past relationship that you wish you would have thought twice about?
Making the initial commitment to be in the relationship—occasionally I think about that period and time in my life and I can’t help but be embarrassed as to my way of thinking. I rarely say that I regret many things because I know that we go through things for a reason and purpose beyond our control but that relationship is one of my few experiences that really wish I could be completely away with.

9. You’re a born-again Christian right?
Yes

10. What does that mean to you? What does being saved mean to you?
Being saved means so much, but if I had to narrow it down for sake of space, being saved means one thing: being set apart. Someone once said there is a difference from those are set apart, and from those who set themselves apart. It’s a choice. To live a life of hopelessness with no purpose in life that forces you to follow and conform to others is a choice. I chose none of the above and gave my life to Christ. At that moment, I set myself apart. I no longer desired to conform what I saw, but rather what I believed; and that was Jesus the Christ.

11. You were saved at the time of the relationship, correct?
Yes

12. From the moment you saw interest in the young lady, did you get a nagging in your spirit that things just weren’t right?
Of course. The decision of choice doesn’t stop or end the moment you accept Christ into your heart and become saved. But everyday as a Christian it’s a struggle to choose that which is right over wrong. It’s your choice to ignore the warnings and forsake what you know is right. And unfortunately I chose to ignore the warnings from God, and being that He gives freedom of choice he allowed me to suffer the consequences.

13. Did you ignore that feeling?
Unfortunately yes. And when someone ignores something, it’s not because they don’t hear it. Rather it’s because they refuse to hear it for some reason or another.

14. Why do you think you did?
There was never a day that I didn’t question our relationship. But at the same time there was never a day that the lust of my eyes didn’t enhance my desire to be with someone. I allowed my will to outweigh God’s will in my life. In other words, I did the complete opposite of what I was saved for in the first place. Instead of setting myself apart to do what God wanted, I chose to conform to my own desires of lust and infatuation.

15. At what point did you realize that, “this just isn’t going to work”?
When I began to find my identity and purpose in life and discovered that I couldn’t be what I wanted to be having what I had had. The old folks used to say “You getting to big for yo own britches boy!” Well I was getting to big for the box I was confined to in that relationship and it was time for me to depart.

16. You’re in a relationship now, correct?
I would call it a Fairy Tale because it’s that blissful—but yes, a relationship.

17. How’s that going for you?
Never have I been so happy in my life. Never.

What is the difference between this relationship and your previous one?
Once I left my past relationship, I was single for a good period of time. And it wasn’t easy, but it was a stage I had to endure in order for me to really discover who I really was. An old fable says that “You can’t see your reflection in running water.” So I had to be alone. And being alone allowed me to discover who I was, but more importantly what I really wanted in the love of my life. I felt that my past relationship helped me see what I didn’t want in a relationship, which paved the way for what I did want. I made a list of all the traits I wanted in the lady of my life and by October 9th 2006, the rest was history. “And they lived happily ever after…”

19. Would you say that you’re in love with this young lady?
No doubt. Real love—this is what love should feel like. So special—so indescribable.

20. How do you know that you’re in love this time? You said you were in love before but that turned out to be false.
You know why I loved Christmas? Yes, the candy canes were good; the Christmas carol sing-a-longs were awesome; But above anything else, Christmas to the young is like no other because “you can get what you ask for…and then some” Well when I prayed and asked God about who I wanted to be the love of my life, God gave me just what I wanted and then some. So why do I love her—because she is just what I wanted…and then some.

21. What did you do differently, this time, in choosing who you wanted to be with?
Ask God. First and foremost.

22. Now all of us saved young people could be in relationships right now if we wanted to. However, some of us are waiting for the right individual to come along, and we don’t want to just let anybody have our heart. What do you have to say to those young Christian men and women out there, who are waiting, waiting and waiting, and yet God still hasn’t sent anybody for them to hold on to?
God gave His Only Begotten Son Jesus to die for us. His only and All…His very best he gave to die for us. So if God was willing to give us His one and only, His best, to die for us who didn’t deserve it, how much more would he be willing to give us what we want if we obey him? My message to those who are still in waiting—find out what God is trying to teach you in these moments of stability. He does everything for a purpose—you must learn how to discover what that purpose is. And by all means, never try to make things happen yourself. It’s impossible to hold on to what you have with one hand and trying to reach and grab that which you don’t have with the other. Let go and let God and watch Him provide!

Interview with Saleem Wright

2008-04-14T12:41:00.003-04:00

Wynnewood, PA resident, Saleem Wright, wasn't always the Holy Ghost filled, always preaching, always praising, young man that everyone sees today. He led a rough life before he came to know Christ. The 24 year-old graduate of Rowan University had to be pulled in to his calling just like a lot of other Christians. Majoring in public relations and graduating was his primary focus while he was in school. He was involved in many orgainization on campus such as: Black Culture League, NAACP, PRSSA, and EOF/MAP. It was then that he heard a message from a pastor that would change his life for the better.

Q/A with Saleem Wright

1. What kinds of organizations were you a member of or a leader of while being on campus?
a. Black Culture League, PRSSA, NAACP, Bridging the Gap, Multi Cultural Affairs, EOF/MAP

2. Now, I understand that you’re in seminary school. What exactly are you going for? Is it to become a minister or a pastor, etc?
a. I am pursuing my Masters in Divinity which is a combination of Christian Ministry and Theology.

3. What’s the name of your seminary school? Where is it located?
a. I attend Palmer Theological Seminary which is located in Philadelphia, PA

4. What made you decide that you wanted to be a minister? When did you get your confirmation that, this is what you wanted to do with your life?
a. My decision to be a minister was not my own. It was God’s plan that honestly if I had my choice I would have picked a different path. I don’t think anyone wakes up and says to themselves I want to be a minister. If they do they might have a couple of screws loose because unlike a doctor you don’t just deal with peoples lives you deal with their eternity. The process of accepting God’s call on my life took 22 years. But to make a long story short I’ll just talk about the last few.
About two years ago I heard a message from a minister that challenged the influences that I indulging in. It was the first time in a long time that I actually heard God speaking to me challenging me to change the way I was living. At the time I was involved in sex, pornography parties, fights, cursing, doing badly in school, I was selfish, prideful, and arrogant just doing what I wanted to do. My friends were just like me and my surroundings although I was in College added to my sinful lifestyle. After hearing the Lord and what he wanted me to do I made a change in my life. After I decided to make the change in my heart it seemed like God started making the external changes. I found myself not wanting to do the things that I had been doing. The lifestyle that I was living became futile, I found myself becoming distant with my friends and started gravitating to Christians for the first time in a long time. Although I “claimed” to be a Christian my lifestyle did not add up. God was changing everything that I had known to be acceptable as worthless detrimental to myself and it grieved God. After God started to change me and I was slowly becoming transformed to his will and not my own he spoke to me again.
One night while I was praying the Lord told me in a whisper to “preach.” I immediately said very sarcastically “preach what, and preach to whom.” Needless to say I did not receive an answer. I then began to laugh and said to “myself, I can and will not preach to anyone, it’s not for me.” Really looking back on it I was scared and felt unworthy that God would ask me to do such a thing. My whole life I looked at preachers as one of two things a saint or a hypocrite. I believed I wasn’t a saint therefore I categorized myself as a hypocrite and I ran from God’s call. I still honored him with my lifestyle and my circle of influence became his followers but I decided that I was not going to preach. Little did I know God had a plan B to counter my own plan. A few months went by and I God was not speaking to me. I was praying, reading my bible, fasting and trying to live according to his will but he did not speak to me. I went to a workshop on campus where a minister was talking about Godly relationships, at the end of the workshop she prayed over everyone and told each of us something different in our ear. She told me “to take the ministry that was being birthed inside of me to my pastor.” I knew it was the Lord speaking because I did not know her, never seen her or ever met her before that night and no one knew what God had told me in prayer. One would think after that I would have listened to God and answered his call but again I ran. The lifestyle I had lived and the things I had done as a result plagued my psyche. I assumed that because of my past, I was worthless and should never preach anyone’s Gospel or anyone’s word, especially Jesus who was perfect. A few weeks later I went to the schools Choir rehearsal and after rehearsal one of the choir members pulled me to the side and spoke to me. I did not know here very well so I was not sure what she was going to say. She told me that she had a dream about me. This caught me off guard because I knew she was married and so it couldn’t be what I thought so instead of interjecting I listened. She said in the dream the choir was coming from my funeral. That part really freaked me out! She said that the dream symbolized that the devil was trying to kill me. Now I’m even more scared. She said that he would not be able to though. I’m relieved a little. She said that he want to kill me for the ministry that’s being birthed inside me and that I need to take it to my pastor. It seemed like everything came full circle and I heard the Lord again. On my walk back to my apt from choir rehearsal I looked up and said God “I got you,” in other words Jesus I will preach your gospel!

5. Did you ever think that you’d be the person that you are now, as far as living a godly life?
a. No I did not think in a million years I would be who I am today. It’s weird looking back on how far God brought me.

6 So, tell me when you got saved.
a. I made the confession of salvation at 12 years old. I was at my home church CCU and I heard God speaking to me that I was a sinner in need of a savior and that Jesus was the one who could save me from my sins and from an eternity apart from God.

7. It is to my knowledge that you weren’t always in the church. As some church folk might say “You aint been saved all ya life!” Tell me a little bit about how you were before you decided that you wanted to let God lead you.
a. Church was always optional in my house. I never was forced to go. My brother and sister gravitated towards it before me. I was rarely ever seen in church unless if was to get out the house. I was saved at 12 but I didn’t really grasp a relationship with Christ until I was 22.

8. Just so we can flesh things out a bit, what does “saved” mean to you? What does being a Christian mean to you?
a. Being “saved” means that I have accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and savior. That I believe that he paid the penalty for my sins on a cross at Calvary. That if he had not died for my sins than I would be destined to spend an eternity apart from God because of my sins.
b. Being a Christian means that my lifestyle reflects the life of Christ. That upon accepting Jesus as my lord and savior I am constantly being transformed in his image and I reflect the life that he lived day to day.

9. So, what do you plan on doing once you get out of seminary school? Do you still plan on pursuing a career in your major or will you strictly minister?
a. When I graduate I plan to do ministry and teach. I use my degree in PR even now and I will use it in my ministry because PR is one of those skills that everyone needs especially people in ministry because the public is who we serve.

10. So, being that this is a blog about Christian relationships, ,I have to ask you...are you courting anyone?
a. Currently I am not courting anyone. I have prayed about this a lot and because of where I am and where I am going. I know that I need to spend time to grow as a single man. I believe that everyone should spend time to figure out who they are and who God wants them to be. If I am not able to discover my true self how can I commit myself to someone else. I think that if I never have a period of true singleness then I believe that I will never have a period of true oneness with my wife. Until I am able to be single for this season of my life I will not be able to be with my wife. I believe that being in a relationship is a selfless act and that people never understand how to be selfless because they never deal with their selfishness with God. Most people get into relationships and maintain their selfishness expecting their mate to cater to their selfishness. This is why the divorce rate is almost 70 percent, men and women cheat on each other so much, and abuse is at an all time high. Too many selfish people are getting into relationships. Until we can look at ourselves in the mirror and allow God to deal with who we are and discover who we were created to be we will never be able to be in a faithful, joyful, covenant keeping relationship.

11. If not, why? What exactly are you waiting for?
a. I think I answered it in my last question but I’m waiting until I’m whole in Christ. I don’t know when I’ll be ready because its not up to me to decide. I’m leaving it in God’s hands.
12. You were in a relationship before right?
a. Yes

13. How did that work out for you?
a. We went our separate ways

14. But, didn't you think you were going to marry her?
a. Yes

15. You don’t have to go into detail, but, I know that you wouldn’t claim marriage unless you were sure that the person was sent from God. So, now that you've broken up, what do you think about that?
a. I think it was necessary because of the place I was in my life and the place I am going to be in my life. As I stated before I need this season of my life to be with God.

16. If you had to compare your life’s story to any person in the Bible who would it be? Why do you compare yourself to that person?
a. I cannot say there is one person I would choose. I can say Peter because through my lifestyle I denied I knew Jesus. I can say Thomas because I have doubted Jesus. I can say Paul because I hated Christians before. I can say Judas because there were times in my life I felt like I betrayed Jesus. I can say Jeremiah because God had to reassure me that his call on my life was correct and that I was the right person for the job. I cannot say that there is one person.

17. Well, that concludes the interview, any encouraging words for young people that are lost? Anything you want to wrap up with?
a. I will leave people with this. Honestly I hate religion! I have always hated religion and to this day I still do. That might shock people but just because I hate religion or religions has nothing to do with my love for Jesus. People think that Christianity is supposed to be a religion. It was never supposed to be that way. It was meant to be representative of a relationship of a finite being to an infinite God through Jesus Christ. God never wanted us to be rigid, strict and bound by rules and regulations. He wanted us to be in fellowship with him and out of that relationship we would honor him by doing and abstaining from certain things. It’s like a boyfriend and girlfriend. When a guy first meets a girl he does not know her that well so he might say certain things or do certain things that she hates but the more he knows her and loves her the more he honors her and doesn’t do those things because he does not want to hurt her or lose her. The same is with God. The more we get to know Jesus the more we want to obey, love and honor him. Not out of rules but out of love. That’s my note to the unbeliever. To all Christians its real simple “don’t just give Christ your life, give him your lifestyle.” God bless!

A Pastor's Point of View

2008-04-08T16:08:00.005-04:00

Question from an Aaron on this site

My question, simply put, is did God endorse polygamy? Usually most experts say that God's attitude was one of tolerance, not acceptance, concerning the old testament practice. And, no, I'm not Mormon, although I do live in Utah.I raise this question because I recently read 2Samual 12:8. While speaking to David through Nathan the prophet, God tells David "I gave...your master's wives into your arms." Note the plural, "wives". In the passage, God is explaining how good He has been to David even though David's heart had become hardened against Him. In detailing His goodness towards David, He uses the fact that He gave David the house of his enemy, the kingship of Israel and Judah, and of course, Saul's wives.So, did God give His approval of polygamy in this passage.Thanks

Answer

AnswerHi Aaron,
This question brings up many passages in the Bible that you can look at first of all we can look at the Book of Genesis 2:18-34 and Matthew 19:4-6 in which it shows God's plan for one man and one woman for a lifetime.Due to the fact that the Ancient Near East was an agrarian society made it very dependant on large families. Polygamy, though practiced by some Bible characters, is nevertheless, never condoned by God and in most cases even resulted in domestic turmoil. Most believers would probably say that this is an easy question, but that is not necessarily true. Most would say that it is a sin to be a polygamist and that this is a clear and unambiguous teaching of the New Testament. The fact is that there in no one New Testament passage which unambiguously teaches that it is a sin for a man to have more than one wife (or vice versa for that matter). Possibly this is because the cultural mileau of New Testament times was quite different from Old Testament times. During the time of the writing of Genesis, for example, it was a very common practice for wealthy men to have a number of wives. By the first century polygamy in the eastern Mediteranean was relatively rare. Roman and Greek society did not condone polygamy. Having said that there is no specific passage which absolutely and clearly condems polygamy, there are a number of passages which would very strongly support the claim that it would not be right for a Christian man to take more than one wife. Never mind that the qualities of an elder in the Christian church includes a man with only one woman (Titus 1:6), one could consider, for example, Ephesians 5:25; "Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. It seems impossible to imagine a man fulfilling this charge to love his his wife in this way while at the same time pursuing a second wife!!! Jesus' teaching certainly seem to preclude polygamy. Matthew 19:4 quotes Jesus as saying, "at the beginning the Creator made them male and female. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two but one." It is impossible to imagine putting another wife into this picture. Many other passages in the New Testament could be used to show that it is not ever acceptable for a disciple of Jesus to take a second wife. Accepting that a disciple of Jesus would not choose to take a second wife, there is an interesting scenario which is not outside the realm of possibility. What if a man who already has more than one wife were to come to Christ? In fact, I know of a specific situation in Nigeria in which a man from a background which allows for polygamy, and who had three wives, was later converted to Christ. What should he do? Should he send all of his wives away but one? Where would this leave these women in a culture such as Nigeria? Which ones should he put away? The spiritual men who were in his life advised that he continue in his situation, in the spirit of 1 Corinthians 7 which mentions the wisdom of remaining in the situation one finds oneself when coming to Christ. Clearly, he would not be an appropriate elder in the church, but it seemed best for him to continue meeting the needs of the three women. I am guessing that under the same circumstances, except here in the United States, very different advice would have been given! Nevertheless, I find it hard to criticize the wisdom of the advice given in the situation in Nigeria. Based on this example, I would say that polygamy is not absolutely, in and of itself, sinful, but that a disciple of Jesus certainly would not even consider choosing to become a polygamist. I hope this answer has been helpful and not confusing. I understand what you ar saying about some verses and how it is difficult to understand. If I can be of any more help please visit my website and e-mail me or post on the message board. The site is at http://www.homepage-host.uni.cc/p/godslove/index.html
Take care,
Pastor John

Grown Men Marrying 14 year old girls?

2008-04-08T15:58:00.002-04:00

Lord, help us! A polygamist ranch was raided last week. And I think it is so gross that men as old as 50 are marrying and planting seeds in girls as young as 14 years old. So far, 401 children have been taken into custody. Here is yet another group of individuals who claim to be "doing the Lord's work". If I hear one more sick, twisted person say that I'm going to scream!

To read more about this click on the link below

http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5iIdMpRHjN4hpNKBhfYyAsR4DDo4QD8VTR4M80

A Poem About Body Image

2008-04-04T16:34:00.003-04:00

Untitled by: Tara Alsup

I stand in front of the mirror Disgusted at what I see
Why can't I be satisfied With the way God created me?
I stare at the girl intently
With eyes full of disgrace
I can't find any beauty
No, not a single trace
Her skin is very pale
And her breasts are very small
Her legs are scarred and bruised
And her hair's not long at all
There are scars across her arm
From a past that wasn't kind
Her eyes are dark and hollow
A bit of mystery to the mind
It's true she's very thin
Where it matters, she's too small
She remembers the girl on TV
Doesn't look this way at all
Her hair was long and flowing
And her eyes were shining bright
With just the right skin tone
She could wear just what she liked
Her body was a masterpiece
And she carried herself so well
Being in this body I see here
Feels a lot like being in hell
Why is it that beautiful girls
Feel that they must flaunt?
Isn't it enough that they Get every guy they want?
When will people listen
To the girls who look like me?
When will people search deeper
Than what their eyes can see?
How many times must I stand
Before the mirror with tears of shame?
When will I realize...
That we all can't look the same?

Am I too Fat?

2008-04-04T16:26:00.003-04:00

Well, the time has come. It’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for. The moment when I reveal what real, young, Christian men have to say about a woman’s weight. Often times Christian women question whether or not a man changes his mind about a woman’s appearance once he gets saved. Does he want someone thin, fat, or does it even matter to you anymore? Here is what a few gentleman had to say about this issue.

Blake L. Cole from West Berlin, New Jersey (22 years old)

“Well first of all, its imperative that establish first and foremost that all Christian Men are still MEN. Which means regardless of their beliefs, they are still going to have preferences. So liking big women when I was not a Christian will not change my affection for them when I become a Christian. I believe the only thing that may change is perhaps how I go about searching for that woman that I am attracted to. For instance, when I'm looking for that young lady, I won't just look for the those attractive traits in appearance, but I will also study her personality and of course her beliefs...those things that aren't so easily seen on the surface.So all males have preferences--because I'm a Christian, I don't believe that will change my preference so much to how the woman looks when it comes to size. Instead I will just focus a bit more on things other than what is seen with the eye.”

Parris Torres from Port Norris, New Jersey (22 years old)

“Well it depends, there are certain individuals who although they are men and will still be attracted to the same kind of woman physically are willing to for go how the person looks if they feel that the person is the one that God has chosen for them. Now this isn't to be taken lightly, in order for a man to overlook a woman's physical appearance they have to be a 120% sure that God is saying that this person is for them. I have encountered people who have been in situations such as this and this is the report that I have heard from them, outside of that a man will always have is fleshly desires and be attracted to the same type of woman physically that he was attracted to before he became a quote on quote "Christian" because although we are spiritual creatures we are still just human.”

Joe Giordano from Mayslanding, New Jersey (21 years old)

“My straight and informative answer would be... that i am most attracted to a thin girl. what the non-Christian men say about thinner women being more attractive is definitely true, but the short answer is that a thin woman is more attractive than an overweight or heavier woman.”

Saleem Wright from Sicklerville, New Jersey (23 years old)

“To be honest men are men. The difference between a Christian man and a worldly man is the blood of Christ but with that blood it changes our view of women. We don't just look at them as things anymore as we once did. We look at them as our potential rib. The answer is cannot be generalized. A Christian man has to evaluate the whole person from spiritual, mental to physical. Depending on the man's desire for his wife he should choose accordingly. If his preference is a god-fearing, thicker woman than so be it, if a god-fearing slimmer woman than so be it. The difference is that the Christian should never make a woman feel inadequate, ugly or worthless like worldly men do just because she is not the woman for him. I cannot lie and say that Christian men do not discriminate or put down women due to their outward appearance but the truth of the matter is Christ never would. If a man is to be like Christ he must see women the way Christ does for their heart first and foremost then work his way outward. The difference between the world and Christians should be how we perceive the whole woman and not just the part that can get us an orgasm.”

My Opinion…I think that not only are men going to be men, but humans are going to be humans. I don’t see why a woman would think that because a man is born again that he would immediately throw everything that he’s attracted to out the window and settle for any Christian woman that comes walking by him. Yes, inner beauty and an amazing personality is a factor when considering a companion BUT you cannot help what you are attracted to. If you were never attracted to heavier women then you shouldn’t feel like you have to be attracted to that type of woman now that you are saved. Just as I am not attracted to men with light skin, some men are just NOT attracted to heavy women.

However, God can change anyone’s mind. One day, you might find yourself in love with someone who you never expected to be in love with. Maybe she is a little heavy, but God could have set it up so that you’d fall in love with HER and NOT the way she LOOKS. It happens, it has happened. If you let God choose who your supposed to be with and don’t go looking yourself then you’d be surprised at what He cooks up. And trust me, you WILL live happily ever after.

An Oxymoron, Homosexuality and Christianity

2008-04-02T00:19:00.003-04:00

Today, it seems like there are more and more people that claim to be gay and lesbian. They feel that Jesus loves them just the same as He loves heterosexuals and that other Christians shouldn’t judge them. But, how do heterosexual Christians feel about those gays and lesbians claiming to be Christians? How do they feel about gay pastors leading churches? How do they feel about gay and lesbian churches?

At christiangays.com, they quote John 3:16 which says, “For God so loved the world that he gave His only begotten son, that whosoever believeth on him shall not perish but have everlasting life.” On the website they make sure to bold and magnify the world “whosoever”.

They also say that gays suffer a lot of rejection. According to christiangays.com, gay Christians want so badly to be apart of the church that they love but they aren’t able to because of constant rejection.

The websites premise also goes on to say that “Jesus always reached out to those who were rejected. Jesus reaches out to we gays today to tell us that we are loved, just as we were created.”

Brandi Lewis, a junior at Rowan University, sees things differently. Lewis is a Christian and a member of a Christian ministry on Rowan’s campus. She is the treasurer for New Life Ministry, a Christian based organization on Rowan’s campus, as well as secretary for her church. She doesn’t believe that God doesn’t love homosexuals, she just thinks that God hates their sin.

“Clearly, Leviticus 20:13 says if a man also lie with a man as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them”, Lewis states.

She also said that she couldn’t understand how someone who claims to be saved from sin, sees no problem and feels no conviction.

“Yes, Jesus loves us all, but he hates sin, and homosexuality is a sin”, said Lewis. “Homosexual Pastors and congregations should all know God for themselves and pray for discernment and revelation because the I John 3:6 says, ‘Whosoever abideth in Him sinneth not: whosoever sinneth hath not seen him, neither known him.”

So, if the Bible tells its readers that homosexuality is wrong, then why are there so many homosexual Christians that believe its ok to be gay? How can they justify their actions after reading that men shouldn’t lie down with men because it is an abomination?

Lewis thinks that the reason why Christian homosexuals deny those scriptures is because people will always try to justify their wrong answers.

“You can constantly tell someone that the ball is red and not blue”, said Lewis. “But if they truly believe that the ball is blue in their mind, then it’s hard for them to see that it’s truly red. There could be many reasons why individuals choose to ignore the truth. One of them could be because they are scared, and they don’t know how to un-do their thinking. Maybe they don’t want to go through the long process of changing”.

Check it out!

2008-03-28T14:28:00.002-04:00

Hey ladies, check out this article written by Jane Johnson Struck. Here is just a taste of what her article has to offer. If you'd like to read more, click on this link!

Chances are, if you're not on a diet when you read this, you just were—or will be soon. According to a study published in the International Journal of Eating Disorders, on any given day, 64.5 million American women are on a diet and will spend billions on diet and diet-related products each year. For way too many of us, dieting is our lifestyle of choice as we constantly focus on how much we eat, how much we weigh, and how we look.
That's why Constance Rhodes, 31, a wife and mom of a toddler son, founded the faith-based organization Finding Balance in January 2001. Her passion is to counter the mistaken belief that the chronic dieting done by those who don't meet clinical criteria for more extreme eating disorders is normal and healthy. She knows firsthand it isn't—she lived much of her young-adult life as a chronic dieter obsessed with staying thin. Along with the publication of Life Inside the "Thin" Cage (Shaw Books), which...

Does size matter?

2008-03-28T13:34:00.003-04:00

Recently I was asked by a group of young women if Christian men have a preference in the size of the women that they date. Do they prefer thin women over overweight women? Does it even matter to them at all?

With good men already being hard to find, good Christian men are more hard to find. So, women need to know if they have to worry about their size with Christian men just as much as they would if they were looking for someone who wasn't.

I know my boyfriend prefers women that are thin but curvy. He's just not attracted to women that are overweight. That's just his thing. Just like me not being attracted to men with light skin and light eyes is my thing. And you can't shoot a man for not being attracted to you, because ALL MEN have their preferences. Just because your saved does not make you an automatic "shoe in" for his heart. But, that's another topic all together that we will discuss in the future.

But, seriously, what do Christian men prefer. You go to church, and you see so many saved men with so many different sized women that you can't really tell what most young Christian men prefer. So, stay tuned for a few young men to tell you the truth.

Gospel City asks....

2008-03-11T21:29:00.003-04:00

Just a video to follow-up on my feature about "Christians looking online for love" . Check it out!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MctEqLYPiJs

You just might get robbed...

2008-03-11T21:23:00.002-04:00

Just a quick post to back-up my feature on "Christians looking for love online"

Yet, another reason why online dating isn't exactly your best bet when looking for love. Click on this link to read the CNN story about "Kate". She thought she had the man of her dreams...until he left her wallet empty.

Christian's Looking Online for Love

2008-03-09T23:57:00.006-04:00

With hundreds of online dating websites, the love of your life could be just one click away. There are many different kinds of dating websites, anywhere from gothic dating sites, teen dating sites, to Christian dating sites.

Yes, even Christians are taking hold of the trend. Online dating isn’t as secretive as it once was. With websites like eHarmony and Match.com, it’s a lot easier for people to look online for companionship.

Christian dating websites like ChristianCafe.com and The Single Christian Network, are amongst some of the highest ranked Christian dating sites. According to this website, ChristianCafe.com is well-liked because of the quality of their service and their commitment to the Christian faith. Thinkoc.org claims that the overall feel of ChristianCafe.com is comfortable and inviting.

The Single Christian Network is another favorite of thinkoc.org. According to them, The Single Christian Network has been in business since 1991 and has thousands of active members. Here, people have found friends, romance, and even marriage.

However, what about the downside of these Christian dating websites? Sure, it’s more convenient and comfortable to find love on these sites, but do these sites match up with the morals that go along with being a Christian? Better yet, what do other Christians think about finding dates on the internet?

Ashley Godfrey, a 21 year-old Junior, of Rowan University, doesn’t think that Christians should look to these sights for dates. She has browsed a few of them, just get a first hand look at what was going on, but, she has never taken the websites seriously.

“It seems kind of sad that a Christian would depend on the internet for finding love”, said Godfrey. “I believe that you should leave it up to God. I believe that if it is meant to be God is going to put that special person in your life, if you just believe and be patient.”

Godfrey isn’t the only young person that isn’t too fond about dating websites for Christians. Tamika Jones, a 19 year-old freshman, at Rowan University, doesn’t believe that Christians should be looking for someone to date period, let alone online. While, she likes the idea of a Christian website to network, and to discuss issues, she does not feel like Christians should look for dates on dating websites or any other website on the internet.

“I like the whole idea of the Christian website because, it enables young Christians to network and talk about issues that we as Christians face and deal with”, said Jones. “But I really don't think anyone should be trying to find people to date. One might meet a person on the website who claims their Christian, but when you get to know that individual, their really not what you thought they would.”

Just as there are positives about dating online, there are also many negatives----dangerous negatives. In this article on the ABCNews website, a woman claims that a man she met, on a Christian dating site, was seeing over 60 different women from 25 other dating sites. He pretended to be everything from a country music producer, to a pentagon consultant. He even told her that he had cancer, but even that was lie.

"Mentally, it just about broke me to think that I had been so naive, when I don't consider myself to be a very naive person," the anonymous woman said. "And of course, I was worried about my safety."

Singles Pastor, Isaac Hydoski, of Covenant Life Church in Gaithersburg, Maryland, says that while Christian dating websites can be a good thing, it still is something you should do your research on. Here, he gives you a detailed list of what to expect, what kinds of pre-cautions you should take when joining a dating site, and how you should communicate your “true” self when talking to others on the site.

In Hydoski’s paper, about online Christian dating, he says one thing that really sticks out. “From our perspective there are significant concerns/risks that you need to prayerfully consider if you are thinking about participating in one of these services. Please do so with the help of the spiritual community God has given you, because without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed” (Proverbs 15:22).

CBS News XXXChurch.com

2008-03-07T16:27:00.003-05:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iwixv2wWY74

Watch this video, it tells you more about the "Porn Pastor". Feel free to comment below.

Christian Porn?

2008-03-07T16:03:00.006-05:00

Normally, this would be the time that I post women’s questions and men’s answers about a certain topic. However, this week, I’m going to go a different route.

I was just browsing online, when I came across this story. Basically, to sum everything up, there is a porn pastor floating around out there. He even has his own website that claims it is the “#1 Christian porn site.” His name is Craig Gross, and he is known for writing several books including Starving Jesus, The Dirty Little Secret and The Gutter.

He is also known for driving a “Porn Mobile” to adult expos, sitting amongst all of the lust, and telling people that Jesus actually loves porn stars, despite what they do for a living. He is anti-porn and pro-Jesus, but some people might think that he needs to change is tactics. At his website, there is a store where you can buy things like T-shirts. Some of the sayings on these t-shirts don’t really sit too well with some Christians. Here are photos of a few t-shirts below.

Oh, and here is a nice Bible that you can carry with you to Friday night Bible Study.

There are a lot of people that write to his website (hate-mail) that think what he’s doing is a disgrace. Here are a few snippets from his site that I thought you might find interesting…
“Your Theology is way outta whack, how the hell.... apart from a gross misinterpretation of John 3:16... Did you come up with your disgusting tag line which I won’t even bring myself to say. That is the most disgraceful blasphemy I have ever heard.”

“Dear Sir,
First of all, do you really call yourself an authentic Christian? You've got to be out of your mind. Show me ONE place in the scriptures where GOD uses hip or fun tactics to relate to an issue as serious as this. Young man, this is not a game to GOD and YOU ALL better wake up and see that before He shows you how foolish you immoral people are. What is wrong with you people!!!!!???”

“I am sure that your website means well, but what do you think about a young child walking thru a parking lot and seeing a vehicle covered in the words XXX and CHURCH together, you send a mixed message and nobody thinks it is a good plan but you.”

The only thing I have to say is this, if people have to read so much into what you do, in order to figure out that you actually mean well, then YOU, my friend, have a problem. It should be CLEAR that you are trying to separate yourself from the rest of the world. I know that you’re trying to appeal to a young audience, but I also know that Jesus does not want to hear that He loves porn stars.
Ps. If you’d like to visit Mr. Gross’s site, go to http://www.xxxchurch.com/

Some food for thought

2008-03-07T14:53:00.003-05:00

“Nothing can atone for the lack of modesty; without which beauty is ungraceful and whit detestable”-Richard Steele

Prayer For Modesty by:Daniel J. Maley

2008-02-29T15:04:00.002-05:00

Prayer For Modesty
Spirit of modesty, descend I pray.
Thoughts gently embraced, swoon in Your sway.
Rise high soul’s sun, in the dawn of Your day.
Do so attend the dark, and labyrinthine way.Find there shadowed secrets, gladdened beams do not stray,
Drawing ever-closer dear light, to naught fulfilling away….
Make attractive this soul, in Him renew it.
Enliven the eye, all beauty intuit.
Lusting ladies of luxury, have lost their allures.
Un-mired of the scurrilousness, love fixed eye abhors.
On higher the holier my soul’s heart drawn, soars !
Lifting wings to heaven, choral winds of praise-full scores.
Amen.

To wear or Not to wear?

2008-02-29T13:03:00.006-05:00

One of the biggest issues in the church, and with Christian women in general, is dress. There is a time and a place for everything, right? When you’re on the beach, people expect you to be almost naked because you’re in a setting where if you were wearing a snowsuit, folks would look at you like you have ten heads.

Or, if its 95 degrees outside, people expect you to wear a tank top and capri’s or shorts because, again, if you had on a snowsuit, they would look at you like you had ten heads! Besides, it’s not good for the health, to wear a snowsuit in 95 degree weather, just to prove to people how modest and conservative you are.

But, what about those young ladies that don’t know where to draw the line? What about the young ladies that confuse the beach with the streets? What about the young ladies that can’t separate the club from church? What do men think of women that KNOW what modesty is and KNOW what's appopriate and what is NOT in a church setting, but still don't want to look descent?

Stay tuned, this may get quite interesting.

But...I'm not a virgin!

2008-02-22T17:50:00.002-05:00

Some Christian women often struggle with the issue of virginity. Let’s face it; there are more people in the world who aren’t virgins than those who are. And just because you’re a Christian does not mean that your life is that of Christ’s ALL THE TIME. I mean, it’s impossible to be Holy and Righteous twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. Everyone has a past. But, are Christian men able to see past what HAS BEEN, and focus on what is to come?
This week’s question comes from a young woman who wishes to remain nameless. Her question is this, “I am currently taking a health class and one area of which we have been focusing on is virginity. It mentions two types of virginity, primary and secondary. I wanted to know if a true Christian male would “go out” with or “court” a female based on their virginity.”
This week’s answer is given by Rowan University senior, Blake Cole. “To me, the question is a bit ambiguous--When you say based on their virginity" do you mean based on that female being a virgin or based on her not being a virgin?
Of course the first is the easiest to answer being that if she were a virgin of course a 'true' Christian would be interested because she may be on the same page as him practicing abstinence and celibacy. However, the second outcome of her not being a virgin is quite a different question. In my opinion the question should not be whether she is a virgin or not, but rather IS SHE SAVED? Because if she is saved then her being a virgin or not really doesn’t matter anymore. What matters is that she is saved and if she is saved she would want to do what’s right from then on. So yes, I would court or go out with a female despite her virginity because it’s not her virginity that's the deciding factor or that should be the deciding factor for a 'true' Christian male--it’s whether or not she is saved.”
In Blake’s opinion, “true” Christian men don’t care whether or not his significant other made some wrong choices in her past, and if he does then… he shouldn’t. He should focus on what she’s trying to be right then and there, and what she plans to be in the future.
So, all of you ladies out there who were worried that you wouldn’t find a man because you’re carrying around a scarlet letter, don’t be. Besides, the day you decided to give your life to Christ, He gave you back your purity because you decided to be like Him. So, as long as you have His approval, you don’t need anyone else’s. “Those whose approval you seek most, give you the least”-Rozanne Weissman.

What she wants to know round-up

2008-02-20T14:46:00.005-05:00

There are alot of young Christian men and women out there, who find it very difficult to date or even stay in a committed relationship. There are many reasons for this, one problem could be the fact that YOU are being too picky. You're searching for that perfect someone, maybe your expectations are too high? You keep saying that there are no Christian men out there, but perhaps you're wrong. Or maybe there is just a lack of communication between men and women.
As young people, we go through many changes and we have a lot of questions. For example, some of us would like to know how intimate can we get with the opposite sex before marriage?
Christian men and women need to be able to understand each other before they take a big step, like being in a committed relationship. They each want different things, and think in different ways. There are a lot of things that women want to know in regards to how men feel about certain matters. So, why keep silent and make the lines of communication more difficult for yourself? Men you'd be suprised at some of the things women need to know, and women you'd be suprised at thier answers.

Introduction to "What she wants to know"

2008-02-17T23:14:00.003-05:00

The focus of this blog, is for Christian young women, to try and understand Christian young men. I will be giving Christian women (ages 18-25) different topics (regarding relationships) and with each topic they can ask a series of questions for Christian men (ages 18-25) to answer. For example, the women will get a topic like "Kissing". From there they can ask questions like "do you think kissing before marriage is wrong?"
The men will get the opportunity to tell women what they want to know. In this blog, the women will ask the questions and voice their opinions and the men will provide the answers. The questions can range from, “why don’t Christian men approach me in public?” to “would you still accept me even if I wasn’t a virgin?” This blog is not just meant for women, but for men also. It can help men to see into a woman’s mind and it can help them to see those burning questions women want to ask, but never do. This blog will be helpful to both parties. The blog may be comedic, but it won’t be intentional. I cannot control what people are going to say, so of course there will be some humor. However, this blog has not been created to bash men and to make them feel low. It is just a way for women to ask what they want, and for men to answer, without all the embarrassment.
This is a place where young Christian men and women can exchange thoughts and see the other side for a change. Don't be shy ladies, ask ANYTHING you want. And men, don't hold back, voice your opinion and give her an answer because she wants to know!